I just realized that I haven't blogged in quite some time. It's not that I don't have anything to say. I just haven't really felt compelled to get on my soapbox or get anybody's attention lately. However, it just occurred to me that if I don't buck-up and write something, I might forget about this blog forever or (worse) you guys might forget about me. That being said, I'm not going to advertise this present entry to the world. It's meant for the casual person to stumble upon and lampoon. (I'm sorry. I'm still trying to work on that whole self-respect thing...) At the risk of turning this blog into a flickr account...
GRAHAM CRACKER
You can stack on me whatever you want
Chocolate, marsh mellows
You can stick me in the microwave
Why? Cause I can take the heat
You can even spread peanut butter on me
And I won't be humiliated
'Cause I've seen worse
And worse has been done to me
Don't be fooled by my boxy, square appearance
I'm actually very sweet
And if you get to know me,
You might want me too much
But be careful
Eat me in bed
And I might leave crumbs
For you to pick-up for days
- Anonymous
SOCK TOE
My sock has a hole in it
And my middle toe pops out
And I look like a hobo
And screw anybody that judges me
Just because a sock has a little hole in it
Doesn't mean it can't serve its purpose
- Anonymous
LIGHT
It seems to me that the most
Beautiful sight in the world to behold
Is light
It's light, after all, that makes us see
Out of darkness, life
As I travel down the highway
Following the setting sun to the west
I notice it all around me
Pink and orange clouds in the backdrop
While in the foreground, bright street lamps
They merge together
God's light and man's light
They guide the way
I breath deeply
I feel at peace
- Anonymous
SABERTOOTH SMILE
I like people who grin with their whole mouth
Who lift one side of their upper lip
Just a little bit higher
So we can see their cuspids
These people are sexy. And happy.
And it shows in their fangs
- Anonymous
EATING PIE WITH CROCODILES
Last night, they took me out for a massive dinner
Wine, salads -- the works
Then onto dessert
My best friend had peach pie
Her fiance had raspberry and I copied him,
Finally getting my slice of the big time.
But then when we finished,
I left my debit card in the restaurant, and
Before I could retrieve it,
I was confronted by a massive crocodile
With a 3 foot wide jaw
And zillions of little teeth
He stared at me with beady eyes
Then opened his mouth and extended his tongue
His big, pink monster wrapped around me
And he swallowed me whole
I was never to be heard from again
Plus, I never got my debit card back
- Anonymous
QUEEN
I told them that if I were a ruler
I'd probably be Henry the 8th
A fat bitch laughing on a thrown
As people performed plays for me
I'd devour turkey legs like a barbarian
Slurp some sort of sweet pudding for desert
And I'd reject people for not being good enough
But to see failure,
All I'd really need to do
Is take a look in the mirror...
- Anonymous
So, maybe it's not the greatest sample of structureless rambling in my canon. And maybe one day... I'll have courage enough to admit that I am responsible for the silliness that you just read... not some person named "Anonymous".
Ciao for now.
